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We’ve all seen it – that moment when your toddler starts screaming bloody murder when you go to pick her up, even though she seemed perfectly content just moments before you picked her up. If this happens once or twice and then the screaming stops, it’s not too big of a deal; your daughter probably had an itch or something else on her mind that she wanted to scream about. But if you’re in public, holding your daughter and trying to soothe her while she screams bloody murder – well, that can be pretty embarrassing!
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Ask Yourself Am I Ready for This?
It’s a fact: Children need their dads. But that doesn’t mean dads are always ready for them—especially when they are very young and small. At first, fathers may find it difficult to know what to do with their little ones. Will they hurt them by holding them incorrectly? Should they be carrying or cradling or rocking them at all times? How much contact should there be? What about changing diapers, bathing them, and feeding them?
And then there is the question of the toddlers themselves. When does this child have something to say about how he wants to be held and cared for? Aren’t I supposed to make sure he feels comfortable? Yes, you want your son or daughter to feel safe and secure in your arms—but it might take some time before you get comfortable with these new sensations. The good news is that kids develop quickly and soon will respond positively to your gestures of love.
Am I Being a Safe Parent?
As soon as they’re old enough to toddle around and understand what’s going on around them, it can be nerve-wracking to walk hand-in-hand with your baby or toddler. Most dads will never have something dangerous happen when holding their little ones in public places though.
While you don’t want to let fear stop you from holding your child, it’s also important not to ignore the chance of injury. That’s why it’s important for parents to get out of the house together with their child every now and then without any distractions so dad can focus on keeping his toddler safe.
Are My Emotions Getting in the Way of Being an Effective Parent Right Now?
The obvious answer is no. But let’s dig deeper. The state of being a parent can elicit all sorts of emotions: love, joy, anger, frustration, and anxiety to name a few. Emotions are important—the key is figuring out how they impact your role as a dad on any given day.
Is My Child Being Safely Parented Right Now?
It’s important for every parent to feel that their child is safe at all times. There is nothing more terrifying than hearing your child scream in fear or pain when you are just a few feet away. It’s hard to know if your toddler is suffering from a medical emergency such as hyperthermia, or if she is just experiencing a sudden burst of anger at being held.
Either way, it can be helpful to remember these things:
First, toddlers often need some warning before they’re going to be picked up so they can prepare themselves mentally and physically. Second, toddlers don’t always like being carried around by adults because they want to explore the world on their own terms. Third, many parents find holding children puts too much pressure on their lower back which can cause them pain or make them very uncomfortable. Finally, we all have our breaking point when it comes to dealing with our children and sometimes the best thing we can do is put them down even though they’re screaming. Knowing what might trigger a fit will help us cope better next time.
How Does My Child Feel About Me?
Your child might be frustrated with how you’re holding her or him. When you first try to pick her up and she starts crying, she might not want to be handled in that way.
Try engaging with your toddler in a different way—holding her hands while sitting down on a couch or lying on your back on a blanket so she feels comfortable and secure. Talk with her as you hold her close to tell her it’s okay and reassures her that you’re there for her.
What Am I Doing To Parent My Child Effectively?
If you’re asking yourself why your toddler is screaming during cuddles with you, stop what you’re doing and calm down. Be aware of your own actions.
Maybe you’re holding them too tightly; maybe you keep on moving when they start to squirm; maybe your touch is too cold for their liking.
Whatever it is that makes them scream at times during cuddles will be good to learn about so that it can be corrected or avoided altogether in future interactions.
What Needs to Change in My Actions?
When a father holds his daughter in one arm and lifts her above his head, she’s liable to respond with a full-on toddler meltdown. Of course, it can be hard for dads not to try to make their children happy—that’s one of our prime parental duties. But if you find yourself repeating an action that hurts your child but makes you happy—such as lifting your daughter up into the air when she clearly doesn’t want you to—consider making some changes.
